Focus

Traveling--a good time to ponder life.

There’s something about going to a wedding and meeting up with siblings where the discussion is retirement that makes me restless. Not that restlessness is a new thing, because I’ve always liked change. But after last week’s immersion into sibling talk-we range in age from 65 to 82–about how we spend our leisure time in retirement, my mind has been on a roll.

“What are you doing now that your book has been out awhile?” someone asked.

Good question. For years I’ve been focused on Caring Lessons–writing it, getting it published, promoting it. But other than that, and that has been almost a full-time job, my mind could not come up with anything substantive to say.

When my mind flounders, it needs answers, so today, after symphony,  I accosted a friend over chopped salad in the Walnut Room at Macy’s on State. “Ever since I finished the book, I’ve had a hard time adhering to any schedule in my life,” I said. “I need to get focused. “

“Why?” she asked. “You’re always so focused. Why can’t you give yourself a break?”

That’s the fun thing about consulting with someone else. I felt myself swimming around and she saw me docked. So I launched into convincing her about how unfocused I really am.

Take my writing, for instance. Last year at this time I was participating in NaNoWriMo,  National  November Writing Month–the online program that you can sign up to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. I did it–1667 words per day, while Marv was facing and then having major surgery. How did I do it? I certainly was focused and got lots accomplished.

I’ve not looked at that novel since. And I really liked it. I titled it “The Essence of Sophie” and it was about a 70-year-old couple facing surgery. (Such an original thought!) And I’ve written many do-dads since, none of which are completed, except for posts on this blog.

My friend heard me out, and I heard how silly I sounded, and I came home with a new resolve to focus on non-focusing. To go with the flow. To ramble. To rant. To whatever.

For starters, I’ve written this, my 175th blog post, to announce my new goal. And I’ve changed my theme (the layout of this blog), for about the fourth time, to provide a new background for my non-focused self.

Change. I like it! Who knows what lies ahead?