Once a nurse, always a nurse…

I turned on my computer this morning to find this message:

Congratulations on Saving Lives for 50 Years!  Today marks the 50th anniversary of our graduation from BMH School of Nursing . Do you have any memories of that day?

The greeting came from our committee chair for our fiftieth reunion that we’re having next month. Our committee of nine has been planning this three-day event for almost a year.

Do I have memories of my student days? Oh my, do I ever. Surviving an almost militaristic three-year diploma program, giving each other our first shots in our buttocks, staffing the whole hospital on nights, relinquishing our chairs for doctors when they entered the nurses’ station, administering my first enema, starting my first IV, stepping aside to let doctors get on and off elevators before we did, and many more.

Some of these stories are in Caring Lessons. I’m sure after this reunion I would be able to write another book!

Here are four of  us all gussied up for graduation (I’m on the right). Note our white leather lace-up oxfords, opaque support hose, long-sleeved starched uniforms with cuffed sleeves (I still have my cufflinks), starched caps, and professional stance.

Almost three-quarters of our class of forty will be attending this reunion. I’m sure most of us will have lost these waistlines, but we will not have lost our hard-earned identity of being a nurse.

I firmly believe, that no matter how much (or little) we’ve practiced nursing these fifty years, our nursing identity, our passion for caring for and about people from all walks of life,  yes, for saving lives, is forever engraved on our hearts.

Caring Lessons in the Nursing Classroom

Nursing faculty: Are you planning textbooks for your fall courses?

I invite you to consider Caring Lessons: A Nursing Professor’s Journey of Faith and Self  as a good choice for a recommended or required reading in courses related to career development. Caring Lessons chronicles my forty years in nursing, from diploma to PhD and nurse’s aide to professor.

“I had no idea” is a frequent response I’ve had to the book. The rigor of our educational process amazes readers. And the versatility of our career options. And our ability to juggle career, advanced schooling, and parenthood.

Backing up a bit, as a newly published author nearly two years ago, the first nursing dean I contacted was Dr. Sue Dunn, Chairperson of the Nursing Program at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. When I told her I was driving through and would like to discuss my new book with her, she immediately suggested meeting in a cozy restaurant near the college.

Her first words to me were: “I love your book.” Since that day, she has been a faithful supporter, inviting me to present on her campus and using Caring Lessons as a text for a nursing course.  Afterwards she emailed me:

My students loved the book and found the study guide questions helpful in stimulating deeper thinking about how aspects of the book may apply to themselves as nursing students and future nurses. I would definitely recommend the book for other nursing programs.

Susan Dunn, PhD, RN
Chairperson and Associate Professor
Hope College Nursing Department
35 East 12th St
Holland MI  49423

Thank you so much, Dr. Dunn, for your encouragement and for giving me permission to add your words to this site. And for planning to use Caring Lessons as a required text again this fall!

If you have questions, you may contact me at caringlessons@aol.com. For a review copy, contact rhonda@bringitoncommunications.com.

“What’s Love Got to Do with It? A Field Guide to the…

Sentence in Poetry and Prose” was the catchy title faculty member Juliet Patterson chose for the week session I just completed at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival. The festival, held on the University of Iowa‘s campus in Iowa City, is enjoying its twenty-sixth year.

Starting in 2001, I’ve attended the festival seven times and taken thirteen courses. It should be clear that I love it, everything about it: the four-hour drive from my skyscraper life through corn fields to a small city sloping downhill off I-80; the impressive Pentacrest (former capitol building of Iowa, flanked by four majestic rectangular buildings); the L-shaped, tree-shaded, pedestrian mall featuring boutiques, bars, bookstores, and restaurants; plus the variety of courses, the excellence of faculty, and the diversity of classmates.

The first years I took courses on writing memoir. Then I branched out into classes on writing wild, humor, and essays, followed by more specific subjects as writing the scene, showing not telling, and finding my voice.

So, this year was time for getting down to basics-the sentence. And how better to do that than spending time with a poet/teacher and poetry students. They know words, the importance of use and placement of nouns and verbs, dependent and independent clauses, syntactical devices. And much more.

Juliet started us at the beginning–diagramming sentences to make us aware of what part of the sentence each word plays and progressed through inspiring examples of sentence writing from poets like Robert Frost and Elizabeth Bishop and prose writers Tim O’Brien and Barbara Kingsolver.

And, at a writing festival, what do you think you’d find in a Beadology shop? If you can get past all the colorful beads, you’ll find festival students from all classes giving a three-minute reading on Open Mic night. I was one who got stuck in the shop and bought a silk pink and black long scarf from Karen Kubby, featured below in a slide show.

At the reading, I presented the ostomy story from my memoir Caring Lessons. Afterwards, one older man said, “Wow…I had no idea. My mom was a nurse and I still had no real idea of what nurses do.”

Exactly. That’s why we nurses have to write.

If I’ve made your fingers long for a pen or keyboard, you must plan to go to Iowa yourself. To give you an inside look at what you could experience there, travel along with me on this pictorial representation that I’ll call, simply, Iowa.  No words, just images. See what feelings bubble up.

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Thanks to Juliet (below, striped tank, black shoulder bag) and classmates (one is missing), our group jelled well and were appreciative and supportive of each others’ work.

After class on our final night, a few of us lingered. “Does anyone want to do dinner?” Juliet asked. It clearly was hard to part. We went to Masala for Indian food. We sat around an old fashioned oak table, extended with two leaves to accommodate our group, making it feel much like a family dinner.

As the food was starting to come, Juliet asked the straw-hatted man above if he would say grace. He agreed, and we spontaneously formed a circle with our hands. He intoned his opening words with a palpable heartfelt resonance, “God of all peoples…”

So what’s love got to do with it? I already know. What do you think?

Review of Caring Lessons by Mary A. Osborne, Nurse and Author

I’m happy to present a recent Amazon review of Caring Lessons: A Nursing Professor’s Journey of Faith and Self  by Mary A. Osborne, nurse and author of Nonna’s Book of Fiction,  titled A Purpose Driven Life:

It is an act of bravery to reveal one’s life story in detail, to express one’s struggles and fears publicly. Done skillfully, memoirs tell the truth while transforming an ordinary life into an inspiring narrative. Lois Roelofs Ph.D. worked an R.N. in various capacities–from staff nurse, to nurse researcher, to nursing professor–before she decided to share her journey in Caring Lessons: A Nursing Professor’s Journey of Faith and Self. The book is a thoughtful and authentic chronicle of the author’s life from her nursing student days through her early retirement.

As an RN myself, I could easily relate to Roelofs’ story, written with candor and humor, and her ongoing quest to find the nursing position which best suited her unique talents. She writes with honesty about an episode of depression which she suffered during the early years of her marriage in the 1970′s. Feeling overwhelmed with the demands of caring for her two small children and dissatisfied with having set aside her own ambitions, she reached a breaking point.

In Caring Lessons, Roelofs expresses what other married women might feel but are perhaps not willing to speak aloud. Though forty years have passed since the author took a personal time-out, it is still risky for a woman who has a caring husband, beautiful children, and a nice house to admit she’s feeling hemmed in. Women who are lucky enough to have all the material blessings in life are supposed to be content and grateful. Roelofs’ story reminds women that it is all right to feel discontent and encourages them to continue the journey in search of personal fulfillment despite the inevitable obstacles that are encountered.

Author Lois Roelofs

Author Lois Roelofs (Photo credit: Lansing Public Library, Lansing Illinois)

After reading about her episode of depression, it was not surprising to me when Roelofs later described her decision to specialize in psychiatric nursing. The best healers are often those who have journeyed through their own pain and learned to find true compassion for others. I would describe Lois Roelofs’ nursing career not as a profession, but as a vocation. With tireless dedication driven both by intellectual curiosity and the desire to follow the ideals of her Christian faith, the author has lived a truly purpose-driven life. There are many who admire nurses and the work they do. Caring Lessons is a wonderful reminder of why many of those who enter the profession become earthly angels.

Caring Lessons is an inspiring read for nurses and those who aspire to the field, as well as those who are curious about the behind the scenes lives of nurses and nursing educators.

Thanks, Mary, for your insightful and beautifully written review! It was great meeting you serendipitously at AWP last fall. And, readers, you will enjoy learning about Mary’s Nonna’s Book of Mysteries here.

Coming next Monday: Caregivers Write Your Stories (#4)

Caregivers Write Your Stories (#3)

As a caregiver, do you ever feel like screaming?  I wanted to scream recently on a Grandma/Grandpa babysitting weekend. Wanting to scream is a natural response to frustrating experiences. So, another reason for writing your stories is to scream your words on the page, rather than hurling them into the air.

Here’s a story I wrote after our babysitting experience. Try writing the next time you feel like screaming. It helped me empty those negative feelings and bring me to more pleasant thoughts.

It’s the straps that got to me. Babysitting my two grandkids under three for three days would not have been a problem if my husband and I didn’t have to deal with all the straps. Highchair and booster seat. Two car seats. Two strollers.

Each kind of strap fastened in a different way. To clasp them, most in three places, with protruding tummies and kicking legs provided challenges for which aging has not prepared us. I repeatedly pinched my fingers and had to squelch screams of pain. More than once, I was tempted to skip a clasp or two. Several times, after my husband was finished with his set of straps, I begged him to rescue me from mine.

How did our kids survive without all those straps? I hope the stats are true that these straps are saving lives and preventing injuries.

Grandma and Grandpa on duty

Our grandkids were angelic. Fun and giggly. Ate everything, napped one to four, slept twelve hours every night. Played Lego’s, read books, and colored during the day. If I could have sat of the floor with them for the three days, my only problem would have been getting myself up.

But, no, a three-day stay on the floor was not to be. No sooner did we complete the strap routine and it’d be time for another: six mealtimes, one trip to church, three walks, and, on the last day, going out to eat—the latter a necessity for my sanity, even though it meant six more sets of straps.

It feels good to get this angst about the straps out of my head and onto paper. In fact, with my head clearer, there’s more room for the memories of snuggles and giggles.

So, just maybe I’ll offer to babysit again before the kids are seatbelt age.

Caregivers Write Your Stories (#2)

As a caregiver, you might be asking yourself, “Why write my caregiving stories?” I can think of several reasons that writing them would be good and fun. The first is to keep a record.

All caregivers know that part of caregiving is keeping track of medications, treatments (changing dressings, taking blood pressures), doctors’ appointments, lab tests, x-rays, scans, procedures, and maybe chemo and radiation schedules. As a friend of mine who is undergoing all of the above right now said, “Lois, we’re not medical people. We have no idea what we’re doing.”

Keeping a record helps. Do it on a calendar, smart phone, diary, or journal. AND carry a small notebook or iPad to appointments to take notes.

Keeping a record has saved my sanity. Six years ago, I felt something pop in my right groin as I stepped off a treadmill. Three months earlier, I had fallen and fractured my right hip. I was healed from the surgery and feeling fantastic until that fateful step.  What has followed is a six-year quest to determine the cause of the resulting pain, a pain I describe as a serrated knife sawing away night and day around the bottom of my rib cage.

Two years after my new life of chronic pain began, I was admitted into a four-week, full-time pain management program at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. Luckily, I’d kept a record of the tests done, and I’d asked for copies of the results and filed them. So, for the history that RIC required, I made copies of my copies and typed up a table of contents that listed dates and names for the tests: five series of lab tests, four x-rays, four scans, one ultrasound, and two MRIs.

For one test, my patient gown was a bit large!

But there’s more. Keeping a record is fun because the list validates my experience. These things happened. Really. And the record affirms for me that I have not allowed myself to surrender to the pain.

So many people have said, “Lois, I don’t know how you live with it.” Well, this isn’t the life I’d hoped for, but…everyone has a story of some sort and this happens to be mine. And I’m happy the pain is not worse, and that I can pretty much do what I want to…at a measured pace.

Plus, I have other records from the last six years that give me joy – my daughter’s  wedding, births of two grandchildren, a road trip to the West Coast, high school graduations of two grandchildren, Chicago excursions too numerous to mention, and our now annual trip to Aruba. And, of course, publishing Caring Lessons: A Nursing Professor’s Journey of Faith and Self and meeting so many appreciative readers.

Think about why you might like to write your caregiving stories, and next time, I will address a second reason for doing so.

Caring Lessons is “not just for nurses!” (a letter from a new friend in Lafayette, LA)

Lois,

I was the single woman at [your grandniece's] wedding last fall.  You sat at my table. As a 65-year-old, I quickly find a place to sit rather than stand in high-heels.  I enjoyed our visit at the restaurant.

When [your niece] gave me your book to read, I was quite impressed.  I loved it! Loved it! Loved it!  I enjoyed all the stories.  My hero, of course, was Marvin.  I am sure you wrote the book that way.  I am sorry that I did not get an opportunity to meet him the night of the wedding.

I hope your book does really well. Your story deserves a wide audience. It’s not just for nurses!

My son-in-law is a Nurse Practitioner in Psychiatry in Tucson.  He was just licensed for that field last summer.

A true story that was recently on TV is a book that I read in 2005.  A Smile As Big As the Moon.  The Hallmark channel played it on prime time a couple of Sundays ago and they will re-run it on the Hallmark Channel for a while.  Absolutely wonderful true story.

Perhaps someone will offer to buy the rights to your story. I think it would be great. And maybe Meryl Streep would be cast as Lois!

Why not dream big? I look forward to visiting with you again some day.

Linda Gard

Meryl Streep receiving honorary degree from Ha...

Meryl Streep receiving honorary degree from Harvard University. Harvard Commencement 2010 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thank you, Linda, for your kind letter and permission to post it. My regalia from the University of Illinois is nearly the same color as the robe and hood Meryl Streep is wearing here. But I have a lovely royal blue velvet tam…after all that work for a doctorate, no mortarboard for me! I’m sure Ms. Streep could play me very well. Probably even an Oscar-winning performance! Dream big…

Writing as a Ministry

One day I was lamenting that I wasn’t giving of myself like I used to do when I was teaching nursing. I felt pretty self-centered spending much of my day sequestered in my study. It was Amy, my volunteer publicist, that corrected me: “You’re writing is your ministry now.”

Writing as my ministry. I’d never thought about it in that way. I’m sure I was too busy learning about the craft of writing to think beyond to the larger purpose.

Two days ago, I wrote about slowing down on promoting Caring Lessons and getting on with the next phase of my life. Part of my rationale was additional affirmation that I read in an essay by Angela Hunt, a prolific writer:

Writing is a job like anything else, neither higher nor lower than the calling of the Christian dentist, minister, teacher, or day care worker. We have to see ourselves as ministers to an unseen audience many months away, and trust that the Lord will place books in the proper hands.

When I read about trusting God “to place books in the proper hands,” I realized I was at a point that I could do this. The initial promotional work for Caring Lessons has been completed.

The whole of Angela Hunt’s essay on life as a published author encapsulated much of what my life has been like since Caring Lessons came out in September 2010. To get inside an author’s head, I urge you to read her essay here. You will feel how strongly her faith influences her as a writer and author.

St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writin...

St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writing: Sandro Botticelli's St. Augustine in His Cell (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Caring Lessons – Blog Tour Over – What Next?

I’m finished, ” I announced to my husband late last week. Always appearing a bit skeptical when I make such announcements, he said, “With me, or what?”

Of course, I had to say not with him, not with our fiftieth wedding anniversary coming up–I mean why would I trade down when we have a good thing going here–but I said, “With the active promoting of my book.” Then I gave him my rationale–it’s been over a year and a half of busyness–fun, but busy–and  I’m ready to go on with the next phase of my life.

So with the book blog tour over (thanks to all of you for your faithful following), and with five hundred (yes, that’s 500!) more postcards out, this time to nursing administrators in hospitals in the Midwest, I think we’ve covered much of the potential market for Caring Lessons.

at caribou, completing "my" assignment

I say “we” because I must again give credit to Amy Nagelkirk, my former student–a ’92 grad from Trinity Christian College–for staying on my case. Lots of promo things and lots of the hard work are thanks to her (and the friends she recruits to help her). With the second batch of five hundred post cards (the first batch went to schools of nursing), Amy “assigned” me only one hundred twenty. She and her friends have completed the rest, plus she did the search to find all the administrators’ names and hospitals in these states.

I also want to thank Dr. Sue Dunn, Dr. Patsy Ruchala, and Dr. Laurel Quinn, deans/directors  of the nursing programs, respectively, at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, University of Nevada-Reno, and Trinity Christian College in Palos Heights, IL. They helped promote Caring Lessons recently at the semiannual meeting of  AACN (American Association of Colleges of Nursing) for deans/directors in Washington DC.

So, what’s next? Another writer has stated my thoughts at this time about book promotion so well. I will reblog her essay on Wednesday.

Caring Lessons / WOW Blog Tour – Final Stop

“You don’t need to be in the health care industry or education to like it,” writes Becky Povich, the tour host for this last stop, in her short and sweet review of Caring Lessons: A Professor’s Journey of Faith and Self.

Last week Wednesday, I introduced you to Becky’s blog, her prolific writing, and her audio clips. Remember “The Twist”? And last week she published my essay on Hot Fudge Friends on her blog.

Yesterday she told her readers her review of Caring Lessons was coming up, and today it’s posted. She is also offering a giveaway copy; readers who leave a comment through tomorrow will be eligible. Leave your comment and read Becky’s review here.

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

One more neat thing about Becky; her choice of quotes on her blog header gave me pause:

“Looking back you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life – and it was you. It is not too late to find that person again.” Robert Brault.

Thanks, Becky, for taking part in my blog tour and for the privilege of getting to know you!

Wrapping up this tour, thank you readers for following along. I’ve gained new readers and new followers, especially internationally, and appreciate your support.

On behalf of all nurses and of those living with a mental illness, I urge you to consider a gift for that special caregiver in your life. National Nurses Week is May 6-12, and May is also Mental Health Month; mental health is a thread throughout Caring Lessons. Order here: Caring Lessons. All proceeds go to nursing scholarships at Trinity Christian College.

Coming: On 4/13, I’ll post a review of my own: Mary Osborne’s Nonna’s Book of Mysteries.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia