Tulip Time in Chicago – 2013

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…. Yes it is! For those of you who remember Mr. Rogers, that was his opening song. And it’s mine today as I invite you to watch this slide show of proof that spring has finally arrived in Chicago. My husband went camera happy along Michigan Ave and I in Millennium Park.

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Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

So come on down! We love to share our neighborhood. We have zillions of neighbors!

(Note: If you are a subscriber to this blog and viewed these pictures on the white background of your email, they are on a black background if you Google Lois Roelofs and get to the blog that way. Breathtaking!)

Hues & Booze Party – An Evening of Hilarity and Discovered Talent

Private painting party for 10. Instructors teach paintings through an easy to follow step-by-step process.

 These words attracted me to this silent auction item at the recent Mental Health America of Illinois benefit in Chicago. I couldn’t pass it up. Ever since my failed attempt at creating apples that looked like apples (and not flat circles) in a painting class more than forty years ago (Caring Lessons, p. 58), I’ve had a buried need to try again.

 So I bid. The following week, I got a call from Mental Health America. I’d won! So I called the artist, Sarah O’Brien, and set a date.

Then I gently begged nine friends to come over. Well, I was not so gentle with the person who’d invited us to the benefit. I’d told her that evening that if I won, she’d have to come.

On the night of the party, Sarah, owner and lead artist of Hues & Booze, arrived at my home with her suitcase of supplies for ten party goers: easels, aprons, table cloths, paints, brushes, canvases for each of us to take home afterwards, and, don’t forget, the wine.

Artist Sarah O'Brien at work

Artist Sarah O’Brien at work

 Now, you have to know, we were all novices, so the “easy to follow step-by-step process” lulled us into a silly I-can-do-this mode. And from a variety of choices, such as still life, landscape, and abstract, my friends and I chose to paint an abstract, thinking it would be easiest.

Gathering around Sarah as she demonstrated what we were going to do

We gathered around Sarah as she demonstrated what we were going to do.

We "drew" our line with tape that separated the top from the bottom. separating the top from the bottom with tape.

We “drew” a line with tape that separated the top from the bottom.

We painted (with shading!) above and below our lines.

We painted (with shading!) above and below our lines.

Next, we stippled our paintings with pieces of foam.

Next, we stippled our paintings with pieces of foam.

My daughter's famous dipped and decorated pretzels added to the festive atmosphere.

My daughter’s famous dipped and decorated pretzels added to the festive atmosphere.

Dipped pretzels enhanced the party atmosphere.

Pretzel versus paint brush. What will it be?

Sarah brought a "model" for us to follow, and then she  demonstrated the "easy" steps of how to do it.

Sarah brought a “model” for us to follow, and then she demonstrated the “easy” steps of how to do it.

Notice how are our finished paintings were supposed to look. Some of us were more successful than others in following the model! Disclaimer: Sarah said we could do our own thing if we liked.

Enjoy the following slide show. Several of us opted out of trying a second figure. One was hard enough! Note the variations in our figures. Imagine the hoots and howls as we critiqued our fellow artists’  renditions of  legs, arms, and other body parts!

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Here’s a sampling of what my friends had to say about the party:

“I loved your party–such a fun way to be with friends.”

“Your party was so much fun…Thanks again for a the wonderful evening.”

“I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to thank you for sharing “hues & booze” with me. However, I have been occupied with bidding wars for my paintings since I participated in this class.”

So, thank you, Sarah, for a wonderfully fun and instructive party!

Think of Sarah if you live in the area and want to throw a unique party. You can read more about her at Hues & Booze  or contact her at sarah@huesandbooze.com.

Headlines Tell the Story

Investigators dig up clues burned in bomb wreckage

Young lives lost in Boston blasts

In the world of acts, the urge to help overwhelms

Attacks at end of marathon have crossed symbolic line

Bystander: I did my duty

6 trauma centers played crucial role

No. 1 goal: Find who did it

The ‘Why not’ instead of ‘Why?’

The 2014 Boston Marathon: A race with familiar rhythms and no surrender to fright

***

Source: Chicago Tribune, Section 1, Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Senior Happy for Spring Break

I’m a senior, not in high school or college, but in life. You could also say I’m a senior in the University of Chicago Basic Program of Liberal Education for Adults, because I’m in my fourth and final year.

It is Spring Break, and I’m happy to be free for a bit. Readings this past quarter were challenging as usual, especially in the 90-minute seminar portion. Rather than give you a synopsis (which I’m incapable of doing), with my retirement interest in writing, I want to show you a few beautifully written passages from my assignments.

In The Politics1, Aristotle, born in 384 B.C, is the first to address politics as a science. In this passage, he starts out defining what constitutes a city. Note how his arrangement of words shows his analytical thinking:

Since we see that every city is some sort of partnership, and that every partnership is constituted for the sake of some good (for everyone does everything for the sake of what is held to be good), it is clear that all partnerships aim at some good, and that the partnership that is most authoritative of all and embraces all the others does so particularly, and aims at the most authoritative good of all. This is what is called the city or the political partnership.

 After reading Aristotle several times in these four years, I understand why I became a nurse and my brother became the philosopher in the family.

In The Wealth of Nations 2 (published in 1776), Adam Smith describes the economic advantage of the division of labor. He, too, is orderly in his thinking:

The great increase of the quantity of work which, in consequence of the division of labour, the same number of people are capable of performing, is owing to three different circumstances; first to the increase of dexterity in every particular workman; secondly, to the saving of the time which is commonly lost in passing from one species of work to another; and lastly, to the invention of a great number of machines which facilitate and abridge labour, and enable one man to do the work of many.

 After reading Smith, I know why I’m not an economist. For me, it’s enough to know that supply has something to do with demand.

In the “Manifesto of the Communist Party”3 (published in 1848), Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels surprised me with their vivid use of metaphors:

The robe of speculative cobwebs, embroidered with flowers of rhetoric, steeped in the dew of sickly sentiment, this transcendental robe in which [some] Socialists wrapped their sorry “eternal truth,” all skin and bone, served to wonderfully increase the sale of their goods amongst such a public.

 As usual in these U of C courses, the professors use the Socratic Method of questioning, so each question is answered with a question. So by the time I leave class, I have no answers, and the stirred-up dirt floor of my brain screams for aspirin.

The Socratic Method

The Socratic Method

After the seminar portion of the class, in the 90-minute tutorial, we studied Hamlet. Being a relative novice at Shakespeare, aside from learning to appreciate the depth of his knowledge of human behavior and his seemingly effortless ability to build suspense and entertain, I marveled at the actual writing. Read this passage where the Queen, Hamlet’s mother, describes the location where a female character drowns:

There is a willow grows askant the brook,

That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream,

Therewith fantastic garlands did she make

Of crowflowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples,

That liberal shepherds give a grosser name,

But our cold maids do dead men’s fingers call them.

(Act 4. Scene 7. Lines 167-172)

Now, if you don’t get what Shakespeare is trying to say here, just let the words flow over your tongue. They roll out smooth as a red carpet. Luckily for me, our edition had numerous footnotes across from each page defining most of the archaic terms.  But, now and then, these readings also gave me a headache from concentrating too hard to make sense out of them.

Another thing: I never realized how many common expressions come from Hamlet.  A few examples:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be. (1.3.75)

Brevity is the soul of wit. (2.2.90)

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. (2.2.350-1)

And the famous—

To be or not to be, that is the question. (3.1.57)

Today is March 13, and you’ll probably be reading this next Monday, my usual day to post. By that time, I’ll be over 2,000 miles from home, house sitting for my son and daughter-in-law and hanging out with the older of my two sets of grandchildren.

The children don’t need me –that’s why I say I’m house sitting. In fact, last week a friend asked the youngest (15), “Why is your grandma coming?” She answered, “I don’t know. She only talks and eats.”

And she is right. When I agreed to this invitation, I made it clear that I do not cook, clean, or do the washing, but I’m good at listening.

Perhaps while I do my listening, I can put into use the Socratic method of questioning so we can have headache-producing discussions. Or maybe I can simply ponder aloud, To be or not to be, that is the question.

You can see why my brain is happy to go on Spring Break. If you are truly seniors like I am, do you go on Spring Break too?

 ***

1  Carnes, L. (Tr.). (1984). Aristotle, The Politics. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Smith, A. (1976). The Wealth of Nations.  Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Tucker, R. C. (Ed.). (1978). The Marx-Engels Reader (pp. 469-500). New York: Norton.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Snow Kindness in Chicago

Shootings in Chicago make national news. Snow kindness does not. It rarely even makes local news, except for the occasional gratitude letter to the editor about someone returning home to find his or her walkway shoveled.

But my friend and I experienced a heartwarming degree of snow kindness last week, the day we had six inches of snow in the downtown. We are older women for whom snow is not a deterrent. So after we attended classes at the Gleacher Center, off Michigan Avenue, adjacent to the Chicago River,  we set out about 1:30, dressed in our black ankle-length coats, hoods snuggly secured to show only our eyes, to see Side Effects at a movie theater, a walk of about three blocks, including an outdoor three-tiered stairway. We both like movies with a mental health viewpoint and thought this continual snow-falling day a good climate to keep ourselves on the move.

My friend, I’ll call her Carol, is nearly eighty and uses a cane. So with her left arm looped through mine, her right hand on the cane, we started out on the snow-covered sidewalk. We were alone. No pedestrians or cars in sight. Keeping our heads down to shield our eyes from the soft wetness of the snowflakes, we determined that the sidewalk wasn’t treacherous because we could plant and crunch each step into the snow without sliding.

One half block into our walk, a sidewalk plow edged in front of us, out of the blue, the driver waving hello, and plowed to the end of the block. Snow kindness number one.

At the corner, he stopped and waited for us. When we arrived, haltingly slowly, he shouted out of his cab, “Where are you headed?” After I signaled to our right, he put his toy-sized tractor into gear and plowed the next walkway for us. Snow kindness number two.

When we approached the outdoor stairway, Carol let go of my arm, and we each gripped the handrail, gingerly starting our descent. On the third turn of the stairway, I saw a snow shoveller working his way up the steps. He looked up at me and signaled to wait a second while he shoveled off my next steps. Snow kindness number three.

When I reached the bottom, I looked back expecting Carol to be right behind me. She was just starting the third tier—about fifteen steps. A man, about forty, was behind her. He easily could have swung to her left and gone around her. Instead he patiently watched her each step, looking as if he was poised to intervene if she started to waver. Once, he glanced down at me and smiled. Snow kindness number four. As I took a deep breath in relief that we’d gotten this far without incident, the air smelled fresh, clean. Restorative.

When Carol and I reached the corner of that block, we stopped to contemplate how to scale the snow mound that had accumulated at the plowed intersection. Each time I spoke, I used a louder tone of voice so Carol would hear through her hood. For me to hear her response, I jiggled my head a bit inside my hood to give my ear a little air space to catch her words. I was thankful I’d already removed my glasses or I would not have been able to see.

While we were having this discussion about where to step, and how to step in concert so we, arm in arm, wouldn’t go down like dominoes, a young gal coming toward us from across the street, stopped. “Can I help you?” We laughed gallantly and I said, “Oh no, we’re just figuring this out.” Snow kindness number five.

When the movie was over, it was dark out. The snow was still falling. The passing cars, deserted parking lots, and rolling buses were bathed in white against a gray canvas of skyscrapers. We stopped to test the sidewalk for slipperiness and headed toward dinner, after which we left for home, each time resuming our methodical carefulness. Two more times, younger people stopped to offer help. Snow kindnesses number six and seven.

Imagine us, two older women, heads down, giving ourselves a “snow day” from our high-rise lives, inching forward like turtles in the persistently falling snow, feeling loved and protected by our fellow citizens in this grand city of ours. Snow kindnesses like these, volunteered on a frigid afternoon, fortify my faith in our younger generations.

Think of this the next time you read headlines about Chicago.

***

Check out the storm’s effect during rush hour on the other side of downtown on this Chicago Tribune video. Our experience mirrored that of the man with the cane.

Tidbits for Writers from the 10th Annual Creative Chicago Expo

Creative. I love the sound of this word. As a child in the forties and fifties, I don’t think I ever heard it. In fact, the first emphasis on being creative that I encountered was in the late nineties when I read, then taught, Julia Cameron‘s The Artist’s Way.

Reading Cameron opened my eyes to the notion that creativity lives within each of us. All I had to do was tap into it. And she gave dozens of specific exercises to follow to find it.

As a result, I still don’t draw, paint, sing, or play an instrument. Nor do I design mosaics, work with metal, or cobble my own shoes.

But I could have learned about these creative pursuits, plus more, at the 10th Annual Creative Chicago Expo held at the Chicago Cultural Center last Friday and Saturday. Instead, as an author and blogger, I migrated to workshops on writing, my most favorite form of being creative.

At the workshops, my ever-present purse-sized writer’s notebook filled up with scribbles. Maybe some of my scribbles will be of interest to you.

From the workshop How to Get Published, presented by the Society of Midland Authors:

1. Amazon takes 62% of the retail price of a book; Ingram and Baker & Taylor take 55%.

2. China prints books much cheaper than we do here.

3. The Big Six publishers are used to working with agents.

4. Using Kickstarter to fund your project is becoming a new normal.

5. Traditional book reviews are much harder to get today because of newspaper cutbacks.

6. You are not finished when you finish your book. Next step? Stand by your art. Promote.

7. Templates are available that convert a Word document to a publishable form.

8. Amazon and Lightning Source offer POD (print on demand).

9. Your words are your ideas. (In other words, they are powerful!)

From the workshop WordPress in a Nutshell: Your Website, Security & More, presented by GIZMO Design:

1. Back up your blog routinely.

2. Change your password frequently.

3. Change your login to something besides  “admin” — make it harder to get hacked.

4. There are endless customization possibilities on WordPress blogs.

One man told Tall Tales!

One man was telling TALL TALES!

For more information on these topics, you really had to be there to experience the nuances of each of the presenters. Plan to join this comprehensive expo next year.

Meanwhile, read Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and get inspired to explore your own creativity. You will not be sorry.

Aging Gracefully at Seventy

2012 - marv 013

At 27, I loved taking my kids for a walk in our double stroller. I’d get so many compliments on my adorable kids!

When I first read Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique in 1970, I cried with relief. Friedan had interviewed suburban housewives and found many were not fulfilled as homemakers.

That was me. And like others in these first waves of feminism, I, after some painful soul-searching (chapters 5 and 6 in Caring Lessons), ventured out of the kitchen and nursery and went back to school and carved out a career.

Ellen Cole, the researcher I mentioned a few weeks ago, also had a gut reaction to Friedan’s book: “It turned my life upside down.” Now, at 71, she is interviewing seventy year olds from the Silent Generation (those born between 1925-1942) to see how our generation is transitioning to old age from those jobs that filled our lives. From her findings so far, she and her colleague, Jane Giddan, have come up with three “lessons” for “aging gracefully.” I’ll relate them to a few examples from my life now.

The first lesson is “accepting old age.” It’s funny how this old age stuff creeps up on you; it seems one day I was marching along meeting hourly appointments, and the next day I was happy to have one outing a day. I have found it helpful to focus on what I can do rather than lament the opposite. I no longer take my health for granted. I’m thankful I can see, hear, walk, talk, and eat. I have learned to be content with just that one outing a day. I have learned that wrinkles can make you look carved with wisdom.

The second lesson is to “banish the thought of ‘retirement’.” We don’t have to quit working if we don’t want to, but, if we do, we can do whatever we want to do. It feels prophetic now, but, more than twenty years ago, respondents from my doctoral research on older persons’ leisure, said, “I can do what I want, when I want, and for how long I want.” And that is the beauty of not having to have paid employment. I can get up when I want and read all day if I wish. With no grandchildren nearby and a self-sufficient husband, I have lots of free time, but I have found I had to replace my passion for nursing with another, and I’m grateful that a long dormant interest in writing surfaced immediately upon my retirement in 2000.

Chicago Cultural Center - Grand Staircase and ...

Chicago Cultural Center – Grand Staircase and Preston Bradley Hall. The 38-foot dome is by J. A. Holtzer of the Tiffany Glass & Decorating Company. The cultural center states that it is the largest Tiffany dome in the world. Building construction was completed in 1897. Chicago Cultural Center, Chicago, Illinois, USA.

And the final lesson is “finding a community and immersing yourself in it.” If you need people like I need people, this is key. I feel truly blessed to live, for the first time in my life, in a city high rise. I don’t have to drive anywhere to find community. I’m only an elevator ride away from our gym, pool, and monthly building parties and book club meetings.

I’m next door to the historic Chicago Cultural Center with its Renaissance Court, run by the Chicago Department of Family and Support Services, where I’m taking an aerobic class three mornings a week.

I can walk to my regular meetings with my writing group, a staple in my life for over ten years.

I can walk to our church where I can also take classes. I just finished a course on the definition of marriage from Greco-Roman times, through Biblical times, to the present. This knowledge will be of interest as I follow the Supreme Court decisions on same-sex marriage.

I can walk to my University of Chicago class at the Gleacher Center which offers more non-credit courses in the humanities than I have time left to take.

And this short list does not even talk about being able to walk to symphony, opera, plays, or restaurants of every flavor. Or shopping. Or my favorite coffee shops. I’m writing this piece in my cozy Caribou on Michigan Avenue, surrounded by eighteen people, mostly young, working on their laptops. The young woman three feet from me just sneezed. I said, “Bless you.” She looked over at me and said, “Thank you.” We exchanged smiles.

And, of course, there are more places to meet people by volunteering; my most memorable experience in retirement has been with the Mental Health Ministry of my church with our goal of promoting awareness and education related to persons and families living with mental illness.

What about you? Have you or a parent or a friend accepted getting older? Have you considered what retirement means? Have you built in sources for sustaining community?

Consider these thoughts for your New Year’s resolutions. Happy New Year!

If you’d like to read more about Cole’s study of seventy year olds and/or participate, log on here: www.70candles.com

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

The Christmas Story, from The Message

Luke 2

(From The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language / Eugene Peterson / 2002.)

The Birth of Jesus

About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.

When they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped hm in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was not room in the hostel.

An Event for Everyone

There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their Sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and Gods’ glory blazed around them. There were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, world wide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: A baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”

At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:

Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who elapse him.

As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. “Let’s go over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.

Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!

From our home to yours, we wish you peace, joy, and happiness this Christmas Season.

BSN to Doctoral Degree Programs

As a retired nurse educator, I’m excited about the trend in nursing to prepare nurses at a younger age for research and, particularly, academic careers.

As we older nurses like to say, “in my day” as a new diploma grad in 1962, I never thought about a full-time career in academia. In fact, in those days, we “knew” we had to put in years of clinical practice, perhaps raise a family, and, as advanced degrees became required to teach, return to school to earn those degrees.

Me in “nurses training” – 1960

In my day in my hospital, it was accepted practice that new nursing grads start out on the night shift, progressing to evening and then day shifts as the current year’s grads started their move down the shifts.

So that’s the course I followed. I worked one year of 11-7s on a medical-surgical unit of twenty-seven beds, with the assistance of one nurse’s aide. The next year, with the advent of the new grads, I “graduated” to the 3-11 shift as charge nurse of my unit and the one down the hall, fifty-five beds in all, with a medication nurse (RN), a treatment nurse (LPN, and a few aides on each end.

In my third year, when the supervisor of both units left, the head nurse on one unit was promoted to that position, and I was asked to assume the head nurse’s role.

I bought into this progression and this solid experience in medical-surgical nursing as an essential foundation to every nursing career. After all, I paid my “hospital dues” and learned every aspect of twenty-four hour care of any inpatient experiencing a myriad of medical diagnoses and a host of surgical interventions. I also bought into the accepted educational path of my era—diploma (1962), taking time out to have a family, and then proceeding with bachelor’s (1977), master’s (1981), and doctoral (1991) degrees, this latter date corresponding with the year my youngest child graduated from college.

I began my career in academia in an associate degree nursing program after I earned the bachelor’s. When it became mandatory in Illinois for nurses to have a master’s to teach, I went back for a master’s. When I moved on to teaching in a baccalaureate program, I went back for a doctorate that, even though not required, I wanted to meet the requirement for the other disciplines of holding the terminal (highest attainable) degree.

Even if I had wanted to earn a doctorate in nursing earlier, the first program offering a PhD in nursing in Illinois wasn’t started until 1975. Until that time, nurses wanting doctorates earned them in education or the social or physical sciences. And it wasn’t until 1979 that a practiced-focused doctoral degree, now a DNP, was offered.

Yet, it wasn’t until 1995 that the first BSN to doctoral program opened. By 2010 that number had jumped to seventy-three, and the number continues to grow.

One example of this type of program is the partnership between the BSN program at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, and the PhD program at Michigan State University.

The availability of these BSN to doctoral programs is why I’m excited. I can’t help but wonder how different my career might have been if “in my day” there had been the possibility of earning a doctoral degree in nursing and spending my entire career in academia and/or research.  As it was, I retired in 2000, only nine years after I earned a doctorate.

Today, with the “graying” and retirement of nursing faculty causing qualified applicants to nursing schools to be turned away, it only makes sense to prepare nurses at a younger age for careers in academia.

Thinking of those young people committed to the role of faculty member—committed to the promotion and tenure requirements not only related to their teaching, but also their research, their nursing and university-wide committees, and their valuable service to their communities—makes me go to bed smiling.

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Chicago’s Walnut Room – 2012

Macy’s Walnut Room is sparkling ready for your annual family gathering around the tree. 

They’ve even rolled out the red carpet for you…

and created a store-wide festive atmosphere.

There was no line today at the Walnut Room. Wait a few days and you’ll be waiting a few hours in line. My first year downtown, I waited three hours!

I’ve asked old-time Chicagoans about this waiting, and they say it’s a family tradition; they came to Marshall Field’s Walnut Room as children, and now they’re coming with their grandchildren.

I can’t relate to a life-long annual tradition. As a preacher’s daughter, we moved every few years, so I have multiple childhood roots…and no Walnut Room in my history.

Plus, I’ve never been good at establishing family traditions. I’d start something (one year it was having raisin bread at Christmas dinner), only to forget it by the next holiday. So I guess my tradition is having no traditions!

And I’m okay with that.