Tags
identity crisis, Nursing, nursing, professional development, registered nursing licensure, retired nurse, retirement, RN
May 31st is the deadline for renewing my license as a registered nurse, a license I’ve held for fifty years. For two years, I’ve been preparing myself that my golden anniversary would be a memorable time to let it expire. After all, I retired from working full-time twelve years ago and haven’t even volunteered to give flu shots in over five years.
I like my life in retirement. As a former teacher of nursing, I like not having to be at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning for clinical days or in the classroom by 8:00 on other days.
I like that my days are my own. I can read the Sunday Chicago Tribune without a thought of preparing for Monday. I can go to the symphony on a weeknight without thinking I will pay for it tomorrow. I can even stay in bed all day sipping dandelion tea with Moby Dick if I want.
So when my postcard reminder for renewal came in early March, my first impulse was to pitch it. Then my licensure would automatically expire. But I couldn’t.
At my age, Medicare eligible plus, I do not intend to practice nursing anymore. And the only reason I’ve been able to renew is that my state did not require mandatory continued education credits for renewal until this year. And, I’ve taken only writing courses since I retired.
I called my former chairperson, also retired. “I’m having an identity crisis.”
“Oh my,” she said. “What’s happening?” Her concern with a tinge of amusement came through.
Capturing a mid-nineties job in a final picture of the required lab coat and sleeve badge!
“I’d made up my mind to let my nursing license go this year, but now that I have the renewal notice in hand, I just can’t go through with it.” I told her of my rush of unanticipated angst.
“I know exactly what you mean. I’m going to face the same situation soon.” Her voice sobered, and I could feel the empathy in her voice.
A few days later, I had lunch with a nursing colleague. She, younger and still teaching, quipped, “You don’t have to let it go. You can go on inactive status. That way it’d be easier if you ever want to reinstate it.” H-m-m-m. Another possibility.
But the next morning, I thought, How silly is that? I never intend to practice nursing again. Picking up the post card from my desk, I pondered it, ready to pitch it in the wastebasket.
Instead, I went online, booted up the registration site, and clicked the box “inactive.”
Do you have similar feelings? What is it about us that needs to hold onto positions we had, the jobs that had us up at dawn and running all day? I would love to read your thoughts.
Write Along with Me 
How hard to let go of something that was more than a job but an identity. I dropped my license after I retired because I did need those continued education credits for renewal. But nursing will always remain a part of me. Once a nurse——
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Nursing is forever in our blood, isn’t it! I remember a friend years ago telling me that when I walked into a room she always imagined she saw a nurse’s cap on my head. She said I just looked the part. I thought that was weird at the time, but now I’m thinking I still feel like I have that invisible cap on my head, even though we shed our caps in the early eighties. So not only in my blood, but in and on my head!
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I too thought I was done and over with my professional roles. But they seem to follow me around. I figure that there is still work for me to do. At the Red Cross center where I give blood there was a 85 yo phlebotomist (sp) (I think she has since hung up her needle though) She really loved her work and said as long as she was able she would continue to do it.
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Thanks, Sandy. I love that nurse’s attitude. Maybe when my writing life slows down,I can still take blood pressures. I know, over the long run, I’ll miss that patient contact. That was always a high–to know you could help someone feel better. And student contact. To know you could help the lights of understanding come on. You just have this welling up inside that spills out into a helping mode! I got to help a home-bound friend recently with a dressing change, and it made my day!
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Lois, I let mine expire this past December and did it with a bit of a twinge too. But I knew I never would practice nursing again at my age. My reasoning? I never had any legal problems in my career and I certainly wouldn’t want to risk having one at my age. Just the thought made it easier to “let go”.
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I’m glad to hear that you had a twinge too. And that’s good thought about legal stuff, Mina. I agree. No sense messing up a clean record now. I’ll need to think about that some more. Maybe I’ll end up reversing my “inactive” status!
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I enjoy reading your postings.. I will graduating nursing school
in 5 weeks and nervous outta my mind to take boards and be out on the floor.. im only 22 and will prob be practicing nursing the rest of my life or at least till i retire.But im hooked on it already and could not imagine doing anything else in my life.
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It’s great to hear you are already “hooked”! Give yourself six months to get comfortable on the floor. Have realistic expectations of yourself. I hope you have supportive RNs to mentor you. They should remember that they were once you. Best wishes. This is a most exciting time in your life, and it will only get better!
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Lois, For some years after I stopped practicing, I kept my license active. It was my ‘badge of honor.’ Then one year, the renewal date came at a time when we were moving, and then there was the normal unpacking, getting used to a new home, all the chores involved with a move.
At the time, I was doing some freelance writing for a nursing magazine. THEY were the ones to remind me that my license had expired. Until I took a refresher course of sorts, I’d be Anne Nowlin BSN. BSN was something that could NEVER be stripped from me.
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Yes, good that you have the academic degree signifying nursing. My bachelor’s and master’s had nursing majors but no “N” in the degree. Someone told me that the “R” in registered signified the original registration only, not current licensure, which would mean you could still sign “RN” after your name. I’ve not been able to verify that, though. I did find a source on the WEB that said MD’s could forever sign MD, but then was reminded that physician’s “MD” is their academic degree. So I will just feel “naked” without being able to sign “RN” anymore! I’m quite content, of course, with having the PhD(!) for official occasions. I can relate to your license being your badge of honor. We nurses all know we worked very hard for that piece of paper and then had to be “safe to practice” year after year to keep that paper.
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I just had to tell you that I let my nursing license lapse without the slightest “identity crisis”…even though I still identify myself as a nurse to anyone interested and then go on to describe otherwise at great length how much I enjoyed every single aspect of it from bedside nursing to teaching students to assuming positions as an Assistant Dean, an Associate Dean, and finally as a Dean. A phenomenal experience. Your ever-long sister, Kay.
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I should have consulted with you first! You could have talked me through this as you’ve done so many, many times as I followed in your footsteps. I’ll never forget those 8am phone calls every Saturday where we’d process our weeks. A true mentor you were! Thanks for your heartfelt perspective.
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