Our kids, ages 50 and 48, want to know Marv’s stories. I guess it’s good to know, since his time is now limited to tell them. This strikes me as tremendously ironic, because I’ve been a huge proponent on this blog of documenting your stories. I’ve warned, more than once, that if you don’t write your words down, your words will die with you.
So, why didn’t I think of documenting some of Marv’s stories along the way? Well, I have, and I have a tiny collection, but he’s never wanted to be a part of my blog, so if I’ve included him here, I’ve always done so with his permission. I’ve asked him a time or two to write some things, and I have hard copies somewhere, but that’s it. I have file drawers full of written stories from writing prompts to personal essays, even a novel, but very little directly about him.
When we got the news of Marv’s diagnosis of “very aggressive” small cell lung cancer, three weeks ago tomorrow, on the drive from SD to AZ, it had dawned on me that I could still write some stories. I got out my notebook in the car and asked Marv what life experiences he’d like to tell me, so I could form them into stories.
But, after I had the list, the thought of dealing with it was overwhelming, and I pocketed the idea far away.
Then, while we were in AZ with our son and DIL from WA, he brought it up. He wanted to know his Dad’s stories. What stuck out from his childhood on the farm? Outhouses, teams of horses, the party line phone on the wall? And what prompted him to start his business of helping children in special education to access needed health care services? And how many children has that affected? And why his lifelong passion for children to begin with?
He forwarded more questions he found online. I tried to think of how I could get Marv’s stories written. My mind blanked out. There was too much coming at me at once. I soon told our daughter about our son’s request. Oh yes, she’d like Dad’s stories too.
I thought back to when I did my dissertation for my doctorate. I’d tape-recorded over 1000 pages of interview data and hired a transcriptionist to type them up. That’s what I could do. Buy an updated recorder, have Marv talk, and then find a transcriptionist.
I felt better. But my daughter got right back to me. Just like that, my SIL had two contacts—one a videographer who could film Marv as he told stories and another who could interview him at length and formulate a “legacy” book out of his stories. Like a ghostwriter. We decided on a book as more lasting, and just like that, our SIL set it up.
I’m feeling like a broken record about God’s grace, but, again, what are the odds of all this coming to fruition with no effort from me?
Our interviews start today. I’m going along to make sure he tells the truth! Ha.

Marv meets a “Viking” — Norway, Fall 2017
I was in my thirties before I started paying serious attention to the memories of my parents and grandparents, and recording them in my journals. Those notes are priceless now that so many of those loved ones are gone. In recent years I’ve begun reading through the journals, being reminded of many things I’ve forgotten, recognizing patterns and attitudes that haven’t changed much although I like to believe I’ve grown a lot over the decades (ha!), and in a way “curating” them because so often I wrote out my angst instead of my joys — thus anyone reading the journals would think I had a miserable life, when the truth is I’ve had a wonderful life! The journals are slow slogging, but it’s that or burn them without reading, and too much good stuff would be lost if I did that. It’s been very satisfying, though, to sort through and get rid of some of the written past.
All the best to Marvin and to you and your family going through this hard time. I’ve been there. It can be terribly painful and delightfully beautiful all at once.
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I love your honesty! You’ve added much to this thought of the importance of leaving a written legacy. I’ve told Marv I’m going to keep him honest, too, including trials as well as triumphs. Thanks!
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This is a great idea for not only you and your children but, as we know, for future generations. I started writing my blog to record memories for my grandchildren. Hopefully, when I am no longer here, they will be interested enough to read them. But a book? I hadn’t considered that.
And Marv looks so well in the photo. Life does change in the blink of an eye and we have to keep making memories.
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Ha! We hope our descendants may be interested too. I know I greatly appreciate things my folks and my grandma wrote for my siblings and me. Marv does look good! No outward evidence as of now. We are thankful for each day of energy and enthusiasm for life.
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I have heard from my daughters that they have appreciated my blog because they have learned about the person I was, and now am, instead of just knowing Mom. I wasn’t sure I wanted my children to read all my posts but I found they are able to process a lot of information as mature adults. So glad that my intent was always to raise competent adults, instead of raising children.
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I can see that, Pat. My folks left a few written things, and I appreciate them so much now that I’m in my final years myself.
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I want to read his book also! shirley
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Shirl,
We’ll have a few extra copies. This would be a wonderful thing for you and Harm to do too.Your story would be a blessing to so many.
Lois
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Such a wonderful idea! Your family will treasure this.
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