“Here I sit by a fire pit at a lovely resort in Arizona contemplating…”

Three years ago this month I wrote that opening to a blog post. Today I can write the same thing; I’m at the same place. But much of my personal life has changed, mostly related to the loss of my husband a year and a half ago. When I wrote that first sentence last time, Marv and I were spending a month at this resort.

So, this year, my “contemplation” centers on my life alone  Newly 78, I still wonder who I’ll be when I grow up. What do I want to do yet in life? Where do I want to go?

And then there are the “shoulds.” What should I do? Where should I go?

What is God’s plan for me?

Living alone presents a new scenario. I wonder how long I’ll be mobile, how long I’ll even be able to do what suits my fancy or to go to exotic lands.

Also, what do I want to do in winter? A particularly cogent question now as I sit here by the fire pit warmed by the sun in 66-degree Arizona, while my hometown in South Dakota is 23 degrees and cloudy, expecting snow tonight with a low of 17.

Close your eyes and imagine this: three bunnies hopping across the lawn as if playing tag, rolling hills outlining a golf course beyond the lawn, peaks and valleys of foothills in the distance. Add to this scene birds providing surround sound with their songs, palm fronds languidly waving overhead, sweet aromas emanating from red and white and purple petunia gardens, soft voices wafting over from diners at tables nearby…

You get the idea. This place is ideal for  contemplation. I think I’ll hang around until answers to my questions fall from the sky and fill my brain and motivate me to leave this warm and cozy place in the sun.