Gunk in my newish kitchen faucet threatens to bankrupt me. It started after a pipe burst. To date, I think I’ve had a plumber come four times to clean out the aerator. I don’t have a tool small enough to do it myself. That must change, however, because once again, after my water softener ordeal of three days ago, no water is coming out of my faucet.

So, to calm my berserk self, I’ve unscrewed the faucet and pulled out the hose far enough to tie a polka dot sock around it. The sock will prevent the hose from disappearing into the underworld under my sink. Hopefully. This way I at least get water out of the faucet. Cold only, but it’s water and better than having to wash my dishes in the bathroom.

I have advanced degrees in nursing. I know something about human plumbing. I know nothing about household plumbing. I think I’ll look into taking a course. I think whatever it would cost, it would pay for itself.

It’s bad when the plumber comes and tells you he still has you in his phone, indicating it’s not been long since he was here last. And I tell him I’m thinking of hiring him on retainer. Gunk will make you say that kind of thing.