Graduation from Patienthood — Pending!

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Two weeks ago I asked you for help staying sane while I try to meet my goal of being cured in a few weeks. I have good news. I’m closer than ever before. I’ve almost got my pain managed, and I’m allowed to wean myself off the walker in the house. I’m on my way!

This week I will try driving short distances. I should be fine because I have good movement of my right leg.

You were so gracious in giving me ideas for diversionary activities! I have spent time listening to an audiobook, podcasts, and meditations and reading short passages from books on aging.

One of you brought over a dot to dot/coloring book, along with a mocha from Barnes & Noble (after getting my “order” first)! Another stopped in with a salad from Panera that she thought I’d like. A few picked up an Indian dinner and came to eat with me. And then, of course, there were phone calls, emails, and snail mail. And another just asked that I picture a nice soft pink rose and imagine its scent.

On September 8, on what would have been my 60th anniversary, my daughter slipped into the house just as I was waking up with a bouquet of fresh flowers and my favorite Juice Stop shake. She also drove me to several appointments the past two weeks, always asking what else I need. On the way home one day, it was a cookie from Breadsmith and another shake from Juice Stop.

Such great ideas! Simple, but oh so nice to consider when one’s head is a bit of mush. To prove how mushy it is, the other night I spent a half hour trying to turn off the audio on my TV. My remote is so complicated that sometimes the audio stays on when I click the TV off. It usually requires several trips from my LR to the components in my furnace room to get the whole thing synced again so the audio will go off when the picture does. Well! One-half hour. Thirty minutes. I clobbered back and forth with my walker between these two places trying to get that blankety-blank audio OFF. Rocks came to mind.

I was so mad that I sat back down on the couch to determine my next move. I could put the TV on mute and let my daughter solve it in the morning. I pressed mute. It didn’t work! But I heard this soft male voice saying, “Wisconsin Public Radio.”

Oh no! It was my smart speaker! I’d asked Alexa earlier to play something on the station for background. Then later I must have turned on the TV to watch the news or something that was much louder. But the very sad thing was that I was unable to figure that out earlier. My smart speaker is on the fireplace mantle below my TV screen, and I’d even stood right next to it at one point.

I felt so absolutely dumb that I vowed I’d never tell a soul!

A minute later I found myself texting my daughter. Better she find out from me than strangers! Then I texted a friend. She wondered if I “needed to be talked down from the edge.” No, but I was close. She suggested it’d be good material for a humor memoir.

So as Garrison Keillor might say, “That’s llfe in Sioux Falls where all the women are strong, but there’s one 80-year-old woman who still needs a lot of help.”

See you in two weeks! Hopefully in my graduation-from-my-walker regalia!

my “recovering” spot