Your surgical experience will be unique.
Therefore, sift through what others tell you about their experiences, salt those accounts away, and don’t take them out of your experience cupboard unless you find them useful to your situation.
There is nothing to be gained by lamenting you are doing more poorly than the rest of the universe or by bragging you are Joan of Arc and looking forward to your next surgery.
As much as you’d like to cheer or warn others facing the same experience who ask for your advice, I’ve learned from a friend that the best advice is, “Everyone’s situation is different, so that’s a decision only you can make.”
There is no such thing as over planning for the time you will be out of commission.
For example, I planned to sift through a zillion slides while I was hanging out on my couch with my feet up. Reality? If I’m on my couch, I fall asleep. And when I wake up, I don’t care a hoot about what I might find on those slides.
Repeat that for everything you thought you would accomplish while healing. The only thing I’ve become adept at accomplishing is finding reruns of Law & Order: SVU.
However, I am trying to accomplish the joy of not accomplishing anything. The joy of being instead of doing. Unfortunately, I never had to take classes on that or found any reason to seek out relevant information, so I sit in my recliner and stare for hours at my back yard. It rarely changes, so I guess it’s a good example of learning to just be, because the experience doesn’t demand anything from me but to stare.
To the point of over planning, I think it may have helped me to have had a list of at least 27 things I might like to do should the occasion arise, as it has, that I wouldn’t be up and running in a few weeks. Making a long list while I still had the unmedicated marbles in my brain to do so, greatly ups the probability that a few items on the list might still hold interest. As it is, my now medicated marbles are incapable of thinking. So I do only things that are ingrained from habit—eat, sleep, and shower.
Sometimes let your mind roam. (It may help to unclog neural pathways.)
Like it’s dinner time now. But I haven’t had lunch, because I got up at lunch time, so I had breakfast. My sleep timer is way off whack, but that’s not important right now. What is important is that I sleep. Period. Trying to sort out this lack of a reliable sleep timer is enough to screw up any neural pathways that may have been operable prior to surgery.
I told my local kids yesterday that I plan to be healed in three weeks. That’s the timeline I plan to give my doctor at my appointment next week. I’m calling it positive thinking. Those words were written on the latest marble that I caught sight of in the back part of my brain when I closed my eyes to take a rest from my view of the back yard.
I’m in need of a diversion from all this being and staring. I’ve already planned to change the paint color in my living room. Staring at nondescript colorless gray walls for six weeks has promoted a postoperative stupor, and I clearly need some jazzing up. My daughter doesn’t want to look at one more paint color. I think that she thinks that I’m obsessing. But what else can I do when I must look past these walls to stare at my back yard?
Oh dear me. If you can help me attain an inert state of being while I’m unable to be in a doing mode, I would appreciate your input. Just remember the being must be done without doing in a boring gray room by a hoping-to-recover-soon fractured hip patient who stares outside all day.
With your help, I may make it to my goal of being cured in three weeks!
Oh, but I forgot the most important thing. When I started to write this post in my head, I told my marbles there not to forget the most important item. Only one person had told me about this ahead of time. And it wasn’t in any of my reams of pre-op literature.
BUY A SIDE RAIL. I guarantee you will need it.
For every movement I make in bed, I hang on to my side rail. Remember, your affected leg does not listen to your brain. So while you are trying to jam the required two pillows between your legs that appear artificially glued together, you can hang on to your side rail with one hand while you jam and squish the pillows in place with the other. Trust me. You will thank me for that tip.
I’m sure my daughter will put yours together also–if you need help–when it arrives from Amazon in a large imposing box. And note how it even works with a hi-low bed. You just put the thing that pops into the hole in a higher hole on the headboard side of the side rail. Ingenious. And I told you so.
I could ramble more, but my clock now says it’s almost time to get up. But I haven’t gone to bed yet. I think I’ll try that first. And, by the way, I’m finally getting relief from the fourth pain medication I’ve tried. I’m grateful to my doctor for his prompt response to my 4am note on MyChart that I started out with “I need help.” (I could see headlines in the local paper: “Eighty-year-old Local Resident Screams for Help at 4am…and She Lives to Tell About It.”)
Don’t forget to give me ideas on how I can just be and not do! Please don’t make me think too much. As you can see, incoherency is my medicated marbles’ gift right now. And, I forgot to mention, reading doesn’t work for me now either. Written words seem to fight with my medicated marbles for synaptic space. An alliterative problem perhaps?
Write Along with Me 
Been there, done that. Times two, for Marlene. Not fun. Recovery? What’s that? All in spite of many fairytales about magical … The people I know well enough to find them credible, well… As the Bible says, “Cheer up, things will get worse.” Celebrate when it turns out to be not quite that bad.
Get Outlook for iOShttps://aka.ms/o0ukef ________________________________
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Love that verse, Rog!🤗. Very true. Good to hear you and Marlene survived this. There’s hope for me!
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Hi, Lois. So sorry you are still dealing with pain and tedious recovery. Whenever I want to remove myself from tedium or discomfort, I listen to a book on my large, over the head, noise canceling earphones–a totally different experience from listening on small earphones or other exterior devices. The noise cancelling ones immerse you in another sensory realm where your imagination is redirected. Its Ok to drift in and out of sleep. Sometimes it is better to listen to short selections since it is not such a pain to find your place after you have slept for a while. A really big book where it doesnt matter where you are might work, too. Like Dickens or Middlemarch. Whatever, I wish you the best as you grapple and report on coping with existential challenges we will all sooner or later encounter. When my turn comes. I will remember your words.
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Thanks, Ann. Every day is a bit different, so not knowing how it will be at least lends some diversity. I try to accomplish one thing a day. Fold one load of wash. Wash one sink full of dishes. That’s it! At night when I’m trying to sleep I’m hooked on listening to Sunday School songs from my childhood. Comforting. I did take a memoir class the last five weeks. Online. That took almost too much effort though. I just need patience (and a clear head again)!
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Hi Lois,
As “they” say about the best made plans: oh well. As Ann mentioned above, I second the audiobooks. Good entertainment, and its possible to have a variety of stuff, I have books that are think full, others just fun, and I have a category of “old favorites” that I think of as “goodnight moon” for grownups. Tales I enjoy, aren’t stressful, and I can fall asleep to, or fall back asleep to.
Another possibility might be coloring–grown up coloring books can be fun, relaxing and distracting. Good luck and keep healing!
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I hadn’t thought of coloring books. I think I even have one. I’ve started listening to podcasts, not remembering a thing, but it’s interesting in the moment. Thanks for ideas. Hope your retirement is going well.
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Your sense of humor is just delightful. Best way to get through difficulties. And I say, enjoy the sleep/being if you can, but hope you’re back to doing very soon!
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Humor does help and luckily I was born with it! And I envision that once I get busy, I’ll look back and want an empty day again😅!
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I wish I could send you a pink rose. Lovely color. Fragrant. Soft to feel. It will all pass. Soon it will be a fading memory and you will be left with an amazing new hip.
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I’m imagining one, Mary. It helps! I know I will look back and not believe this all really happened. I’m ready!
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Oh my!! You are so articulate even when you feel you are functioning below par! I am by nature vegetative so sitting or lying around gazing at tv or playing games on my iPad felt just fine w/ me. I now spend many of my afternoons visiting Charlie’s Aunt Shirley who is in rehab following a fall at the assisted living center. She was admitted on the day of her only child’s funeral. He would have been 65 this month. She totally missed the funeral and subsequently is unaware her son is no longer with us. She commented the other day that she wondered what Jeff and Nanci we’re going to do for Labor Day!! I responded w/ some inane remark and changed the subject. I’m quite worried that when she is appraised of his death, she will deteriorate physically and mentally. She’s 88! I will keep you in my prayers, dear friend. Stay in touch! Love and Hugs Sandy Sent from my iPhone
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Thank you, Sandy. I thought I’d be happy as a couch potato, but it’s gotten old! You are a gift to Charlie’s aunt. Nice you can visit her.
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Thanks, as co-travelers on the road called life with its pains and praises, one needs to know that pain is personal. I agree with what my Dad said, “There’s no pain like my pain”, no one else can live it. Diversion is a good tactic.
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Yes, diversion helps. And pain is so personal. As is tolerance. I can tolerate my fibromyalgia pain, but not this, for long anyway. Been there, done that😉.
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Ah yes, side rails. Very important. At home I could use the slats on my headboard – works fine. But I sure was glad to have them in the hospital and in the rehab facility. Placing pillows a challenge! As to rather mindless activity – I found Readers Digest like reading materials worked best. Not the articles but rather the Life in these United States type sections as well as the one liners and jokes scattered throughout. I could read these without engaging my brain or falling asleep.. Hopefully by the time 3 weeks are up you’ll feel like reading the articles themselves.
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I like the “engaging my brain” thing. My brain is taking time outs! One liners I could probably handle. What’s disconcerting is to contrast now with my most productive years. Not a fair comparison for sure, but at most I’d make it through an hour of my younger life😂. I’d rather nap.
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I just wrote you a nice comment but it couldn’t be delivered. Darn – I don’t feel like rewriting it. Just know I’m sending healing wishes and know your frustration. I think you are doing great!
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Thanks, Pat. Maddening isn’t it! Thanks for wishes, and I will make it by hook or crook!
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You might try listening to a meditation of 7 to 10 minutes. One where there are sounds of nature and a soothing voice that directs you to focus and imagine what he/she is saying. I have a mostly free one on my phone. I just listen to the free meditations and I don’t purchase the other ones. Best wishes in your speedy recovery.
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Thank you!
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Never had any surgery but I sure hope I can have your sense of humor and attitude if I do in the future! I’m still dancing but a bit more cautious these days. Did you enjoy listening to music during your recovery?
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Thank you! Humor helps. A lot! I enjoy music Mostly at night when pain interrupts my sleep.
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