Thank you, WP, for the U word today!
Early on, she posted the following comment on my theme of Life at 82. I replied I may use it. What she writes is very true for me. If you are older, I’m sure you will identify too.
I’m in my 77th year. Is that close enough to be included in the “around 82” category? My focus is clearing the decks so I am unencumbered by whatever comes next. If I suddenly am unable to go on much farther, I don’t want to be caught up trying to put things in order at the last minute. It is important to me that when I leave, I don’t leave a mess. So often in life, other people mess up and we clean up. I want to leave good memories and interesting stories associated with whatever artifacts remain. There will be notes in my most treasured books telling why they were treasured. Our Will is updated, the important papers are accessible, Medical Directive in place; all those first, last things. Then like when we leave church we can hear, “Go in Peace” and answer “thanks be to God.”
How about you? I’m still encumbered with stuff. No matter all the sorting and shredding I’ve completed in the last year, there’s still more to be done. I’ve thought one positive outcome of moving to a retirement place is that there would be a forced reason to get rid of everything but the basics. There’s something about that downsizing that really appeals to me. I like reading articles about uncluttering. I look at photos of nearly empty book shelves, and I feel weight lifted! Crazy, because I’ve always loved all my shelving loaded with books. Something internal is for sure going on!
There is something about moving along in the 80s that makes me feel my mortality more acutely than ever before. And then I get up in the morning, open the shades, and stand in my hallway where I can see out the front and the back, and I see the sun shining and evidence of spring, and I’m off and running again, not ready to downsize a thing! Oh, the indecision! But I, like WP, would like what she says in her last line to apply also to me!
Are you as ambivalent as I? Do you want to hang on to your home and all your things or are you ready to downsize and go into a smaller, perhaps retirement, home?
Write Along with Me 
perfectly inspiring and moving
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Hope so!
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Hi, Lois. I’ve been following along your journey through your eighties and relating to every word. Thank you for sharing. I think that a book about moving through the 80s would be well received. Have you consideted that? You have all the notes at hand.
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Thanks, Ann, for your confidence that I could do that. Don’t think I want a big project again, but who knows? There are several books out there by older women so would have to find my niche.
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We did downsize when we moved into our apartment in a retirement community. To our surprise we have not missed the things we gave away or sold. We love this living where we can get our meals if we desire (which is most of the time). We have many stimulating lectures and other activities to keep us mentally challenged. Meeting and eating with new residents is also a plus in our book. So our move has been a positive one. Plus living near our son and family has been a bonus.
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Thank you, Norma! I’ve noticed your interesting life from your posts. Your place sounds like my ideal. “Stimulating lectures” for sure! Food for thought.
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hi Lois. I downsized when I moved into a small apartment in my daughters house. So many of the things I gave away I have never even thought about again and of necessity, I had to clear several bookcases, and it was hard to decide which books to keep, and which to pass on. But but even those cherished books haven’t been opened since I moved in here. There might be time to read them when I stop doing all the things I do now, but maybe not, and that’s okay too.
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Judith, it’s good for me to be reminded that I probably wouldn’t miss a lot! I see that having fewer things would be lighten my feeling of baggage. I remember our major downsizing in 2005 from home to condo as very freeing. Unencumbered is a perfect word.
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I like my stuff! Tried to downsize my sizable yarn collection unsuccessfully.
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Sounds like my book problem! Good luck to us!
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I fear STUFF lest I become like my mother—god rest her 99y/o hoarding soul. I’d rather have cancer (I did—uterine at age 55 along with 35 Rx of whole pelvis radiation; and, I live with a rare bone marrow cancer, myelofibrosis.) Whenever I stopped by to visit my parents in the DC area while traveling for my job or going up to NYC to see my bestie, I saw mother’s collected MESS worsening—in the house where I grew up in Northern Virginia.
The door to the basement was kept closed and our parents admonished their visiting adult children, “don’t look in the basement.” Curious grandkids were not allowed a peek. There were no guest beds to sleep in after we four kids were gone; clothing on the beds, two twins and a double, reached up to the ceiling.
My sister Susan, five years younger, and I knew the day would come when we would “have the honor” of liquidation. Those two never acted ashamed; it was our duty; they raised us. They moved to an assisted living facility at ages 88 and 93, never asked about their stuff nor the house or how my sister and I fared with our sentence of three weeks at hard labor.
Each time in my travels when I returned home to FL, after putting my suitcase contents away, I felt the dread of panic: am I becoming my mother? I went through all my drawers and closets of clothing and pulled out a bagful to donate.
Mother began hoarding after my brother, known as “our one and only John,” moved out at age 31. His three sisters were long gone and he was mother’s full-time duty and devotion. Afterall, “there would never be a women good enough for MY son, JOHN.” She was only 63 when her compulsive shopping began—many years of loss and emptiness before the move to assisted living.?
I moved from FL to NC thirteen years ago—another opportunity to shed stuff and that is how I live, keeping items moved out of the house into the garage for the trash or to give away. Junk mail goes into the recycle bin, never making it inside.? I continue living with a healthy fear of STUFF. ________________________________
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Thanks for the extreme side of holding on to stuff. Even now, I don’t want my kids to have to deal with what I have. My daughter, with her sense of humor, says she’d just get a dumpster! I like your “healthy fear of stuff.” It feels like a wise way to live. Thanks!
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Thank you for thinking enough of my comment
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Absolutely! I’m wrestling with this very thing right now. Thank you!
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