“I’m so glad I’ve been a widow this long,” I tell folks when we talk about what it’s like to stay at home during this virus. “I’ve learned to be alone.” I’m moved to say this because of an acquaintance whose husband just died. I envision her doing the necessary paperwork without any proper closure. …
Continue reading Stay at Home Risk – Leaping Out of Your Comfort Zone
On my recent trip to New Zealand, I was able to meet Judith Baxter, a long-time blogging friend. The ability to meet folks from around the world is a special perk of blogging. What a treat to meet in person! Neither of us ever thought this possible. Read her delightful account of our short time …
Surprises happen most days in my newish-widow life. Fun things like trying to shovel thick sheets of ice off the driveway when no amount of pushing and grunting will dislodge an inch. Or trying to get excited about making dinner when I don't yet know my way around a grocery store. Or trying to keep …
Continue reading Grief at Nineteen Months: Blindside Wipeout and Surprise Mochas
“Here I sit by a fire pit at a lovely resort in Arizona contemplating...” Three years ago this month I wrote that opening to a blog post. Today I can write the same thing; I’m at the same place. But much of my personal life has changed, mostly related to the loss of my husband …
When I turned 72, I used this same "gratitude" blog title. Musing over the past year and a half since Marv died, I can write with the same sentiment today. To catch up, I spent Christmas in Aruba with my daughter and family. You may remember we were there two years ago also, just a …
“I heard what happened out there,” the male nurse said, standing on my right side as I lay on a bed in the Emergency Room last week. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Sniffling and dabbing my tears, I said, “No, not really. It’s just that this is the first time I’ve been …
Continue reading Grief at Sixteen Months: Traumatic Flashback
My trip from the Iowa Summer Writing Festival in Iowa City coasted along from the Iowa hotel, to the airport shuttle to Cedar Rapids, to the flight to Chicago, and on to the L train headed to the Loop. Problem number one began with the announcement of L track repairs. After settling comfortably onto my …
What was there is no longer there: Not his touch, not his words: "I prefer you without clothes" Not the intimacy, legs and arms intertwined with need Not the pillow talk, eyes searching eyes for meaning The diagnosis threatens to separate us We resist. We persist. We don't give it the power it wants. At …
Ants on the bathroom counters. Kitchen cabinet door hanging loose from its top hinge. Battery dead in the Beetle in the garage. Mineral deposits on the home vaporizer rendering it almost useless. (I know I said I wasn't going to write Grace Notes anymore, but never say never. You'll see this situation requires them.) After …
Marv passed away six months and fourteen hours ago. I'm feeling it is time for me to move on. To leave these “grace” related posts on dying and death and move increasingly toward my “new normal.” I don’t mind that expression, although I know some do. They say there will never be another “normal.” But …
Write Along with Me 