Marv got an invitation to a birthday party today. It came in an email and the sender expressed regrets that he hadn’t heard from Marv lately, and he wanted Marv to attend a birthday party. The party would be virtual and he pleaded with Marv to send money to support his cause.

It apparently doesn’t matter that I’ve written this organization several times to say that Marv is deceased.

Birthdays are hard enough after you’ve lost a spouse. I don’t need unnecessary emails to remind me that we no longer celebrate our birthdays at Gibsons in Chicago. Dark wood-paneled walls. My filet mignon; Marv’s T-bone. Ambience galore. Occasions when we always renewed our commitments of staying together until the next time.

Marv didn’t like to go out for dinner; he’d say he liked his own cooking best. But for our birthdays, he’d humor me and take me out.

Think about how you will celebrate your birthdays when your spouse is no longer with you. My kids take me out. That helps. We share memories, express gratitude, and have a few laughs. And life goes on! Amazing. Love lasts!