I’m very glad the last few days are over. “Everything is out of control,” I bellowed to my daughter over the phone. Then I listed legal and financial paperwork I was dealing with and added that I needed a window washer and someone else to check my eavestroughs, and did she remember my evergreens are …
Category: friends
Grace Notes #6 – Grief at Three Months
I’m a grief group dropout, attending three but dropping out of two. There is no one right way to grieve. And no one can tell you if you should attend a grief group or not, or if you choose to, what kind of group to attend. Knowing this, and having a curiosity about grief groups, …
Grace Notes #4: Skating
When Marv had his first cancer, prostate, in 1999, I fell off the rails. As I was telling that story to a mutually grieving friend last week, I thought back to what a therapist told me at the time: "Sounds like you're bouncing along the bottom." Here’s the situation as I described it in Caring …
Grace Notes #3: Numb
During the prelude yesterday morning in church, when, as is custom there, most people were chatting across pews or visiting in the aisles, I suddenly wanted to dart up to the front, cocoon myself in a cozy blanket, lie under the baby grand, and absorb the vibrations while singing along in my heart: Why should …
Grace Notes #2: “You’ll do fine.”
Every time in the last few months that I voiced apprehension about going on alone, Marv would simply say, "You'll do fine." It's a month today that he passed away around four in the morning on July 25. I cannot describe the last month in any coherent way. But the recurring theme in my head …
Grace Notes #1: Afterward – Trusting God
A Chicago friend sent a photo of this cover from Fourth Presbyterian’s bulletin: I’m in Nouwen’s “trusting” stage. Our Celebration of Life Service for Marv is Saturday at 11am at Westminster Presbyterian. It’s been just twelve days since he passed away. Many family members and friends are coming to town, plus new friends and church …
God’s Grace #21: Transition
My husband, Marv, took his last breath around four yesterday morning, Wednesday, July 25, 2018. Even though heavily medicated he seemed to know that he had to get up at his usual time and go somewhere. Spooned behind him on our king-sized bed, my left arm tucked around his side, I suddenly felt the absence …
God’s Grace #19: Happiness is…
going back home for the Fourth of July. Marv wanted to go to his hometown of Prinsburg, Minnesota, for their annual holiday celebration. Our son and daughter-in-law made that happen. They flew in over the previous weekend and our son drove us the three hours there, then another three hours the next day further north …
God’s Grace #18: Change
Our situation has changed. Two days ago, I wrote the note below to a closed online group for people who are living with Stage IV Small Cell Lung Cancer. Nearly 100 people have acknowledged that post, many of whom are bravely trying to beat this cancer. I’d like to share that note with you here: I’ve …
God’s Grace #16: Reprieve
We are taking time off from cancer. Not really. But we've been pleasantly distracted with a few-day visit from friends, and while they were here, we visited Pipestone National Monument in Pipestone, MN, about an hour from our home. From the Monument's website: For countless generations, American Indians have quarried the red pipestone found at …
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